August 2011
Aug 1st
July 2011
Jul 31st
1 note
3 tags
Jul 31st
1 note
2 tags
“So are you gonna decorate and bring your bed up off of the floor this time...”
– Dad
Jul 31st
Jul 31st
2 tags
AMEN!
After all the Jewish weddings I’ve planned I forgot how long Catholic ones are. Congrats Eddie and Angela! Time to drink!
Jul 30th
2 tags
“Listen man, I like you. And I know we played darts together. But the only person...”
– Dad, who might be a bit drunk and I’m driving home in 20 minutes
Jul 30th
4 notes
2 tags
Jul 30th
2 notes
4 tags
"Good Morning, Jewel Hotel this is LK!"
…is how i just answered my parents house phone. and auntie terry immediately started cracking up on the other end of the line. FML
Jul 29th
2 notes
3 tags
Jul 29th
2 tags
Jul 28th
2 notes
1 tag
Jul 28th
3 tags
Jul 28th
2 notes
1 tag
I am so thankful...
That this is the last night I will have to listen to this cat howl through the wall.
Jul 28th
2 tags
Jul 28th
5 notes
4 tags
Things I Do Not Understand And Definitely Am Not...
thingsidontunderstandand: When they broke up, she was not concerned with dividing the library they shared. (They’d kept two copies of some books, looking forward — in hindsight she now knew — to this day.) She was mostly worried about which jokes she could keep. (She missed some of the punchlines the first time, but she realized, of course, that she would miss retelling them too.)
Jul 26th
81 notes
2 tags
Jul 26th
16,617 notes
1 tag
Jul 26th
3 tags
Jul 24th
2 notes
1 tag
Jul 24th
2 tags
Jul 24th
3 notes
Jul 23rd
1 tag
Oh Dear, Amy Winehouse
Shoulda gone to rehab…
Jul 23rd
4 tags
Jul 23rd
678 notes
3 tags
Jul 23rd
7 notes
2 tags
Jul 22nd
35,539 notes
“BUSTED!”
– A Ragz Roomie
Jul 22nd
3 tags
Jul 22nd
8,027 notes
5 tags
Jul 21st
4 notes
1 tag
Jul 21st
15 notes
4 tags
Jul 20th
2 tags
Jul 20th
1,121 notes
4 tags
Jul 20th
36 notes
1 tag
Jul 20th
382 notes
“I don’t believe that anybody feels the way I do, about you, now”
Jul 20th
5 tags
Jul 19th
6 tags
Jul 18th
2 notes
3 tags
Jul 18th
582 notes
2 tags
Jul 17th
196 notes
Jul 17th
“When was the last time you took your toe ring off?”
– Random guy on the subway (the answer is: when the hospital cut off my old one back in October. I had that one since middle school)
Jul 17th
2 tags
Jul 17th
3 tags
Jul 16th
1 tag
Jul 16th
7 notes
Jul 16th
Jul 16th
13,644 notes
2 tags
“How do I make him leave if I don’t even know where he came from?!?!?”
– Me
Jul 16th
3 tags
"Have you ever heard of Planking?"
Dad: So your brother had his first brush with the law…wanna hear about it? Me: YES! Dad: Have you ever heard of Planking? Me: YES! Dad: Okay…have you ever heard of Coning? Me: What?!
Jul 16th
6 tags
RIP: Childhood
1997-2011
Jul 15th
5 tags
Jul 14th
1 note